My Life Recently

By: A.i on Wednesday, May 28, 2014

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It's been a very busy month for me, Got a new job in town, i love it but somehow it quite exhausting. I struggle to manage the time for sleeping , resting , and eat so it making me a little weak this week. 

I figured out that all those people i used to hang with that i proudly called them as a "friends" is literally leave, and i'm done with this stupid cycle. 

I decided to moving on with my life, i'm not gonna stop and trying to rewind everything in the past. Fuck it! Next time, when they need someone to talk to in the loneliest day of their life, i won't sit there listening their ups and downs stories with a box of tissue. NOT AGAIN. I really done with those game. 

You can't just getting close to people, hang out with them, call them a friend, and then when you're on the top of your life, you ditched them, you call them "Nothing" and decided to cut the friendship you had. thats fucking rude. 

But then you can come whatever the fuck you want to ask FOR A HELP? from ME? The Annoying Friend in your famous little life? 

Well, I'm sorry i'm not popular. 

I can't get used to crowded  mobbing me and calling my name. I would never fit with those channel , Gucci, or Prada bag that you had. And i'll never be as SAINT as you are. 

I'm not going out to a party for having fun, or travel often to be notice. I'm not about that life.

See? i'll never be good enough to them, there's always wrong about me. I'm just a nerd that sits in front of computer for them , or the stupid introvert who never have a group of friends to hang out with. 

YES. I'm proud of myself, because its... ME. ! I'm not pretending to be anything, I'm just Me. I'm not join in some of community that fights against idealism of something, I'm not having a rich mum or dad to pay the bills and food. I can't just spend a thousand dollars just for a coffee or sits in the first class on airplane. I have a lot of responsibility that i have to think of. 

I'll never be good enough so why would i stay this time? maybe god want me to moving on because they're not a real friend. That's okay, don't be sorry. At least i learned something from this stupid shit. 

I'm done being good to anyone, or even get close to anyone. I'm tired wiping everybody's tears when they cries and got kicked out when they have a bright day. 

So, i'll be focus on my works from now on. I don't wanna think about them anymore. it's wasting my time.