Some of you guys think that i don't look like someone who suffered from anxiety disorders, all that i can say -- well you don't know me that close then.. I think i'm good at hiding it in the daily life. so, this is how i survive each time the anxiety hits me.
So,this goes out to all those that are suffering from panic, fear and
agoraphobia, I know some days can feel pretty low but hang in there,
there is life after panic attacks. I suffered through occasional panic
attacks that later spiraled into a crippling 5 year battle with
agoraphobia and constant anxiety but through patience and determination,
i got through it and so can you!
Like a lot of you, for me it started out as just an occasional nuisance. Every now and then I would get occasional panic episodes, hiccups in my otherwise normal days. That is till one day I found myself getting them more frequently, then even more frequently till they became nearly constant. Pretty soon the fear of an attack alone was enough to trigger an attack and then I became terrified of that.
My anxiety gets so bad sometimes that I would hide in my closet and crying my eyes out. I shake, cry, hyperventilate.. now that I describe it I guess I could say I have panic attacks pretty much every single night. And I have trouble speaking to people I tend to choke a lot and I also have trouble maintaining eye contact, basically i am very self conscious. When i try to tell a joke or a story i cant really get beyond 2 sentences when i start chocking and often times they see me struggling so they either help me find the words or end up interrupting me.
Sometimes i have the feeling that I creep people out because I cant maintain a proper conversation, eye contact and from time to time I become completely silent, I just cant find anything to say.
Like a lot of you, for me it started out as just an occasional nuisance. Every now and then I would get occasional panic episodes, hiccups in my otherwise normal days. That is till one day I found myself getting them more frequently, then even more frequently till they became nearly constant. Pretty soon the fear of an attack alone was enough to trigger an attack and then I became terrified of that.
My anxiety gets so bad sometimes that I would hide in my closet and crying my eyes out. I shake, cry, hyperventilate.. now that I describe it I guess I could say I have panic attacks pretty much every single night. And I have trouble speaking to people I tend to choke a lot and I also have trouble maintaining eye contact, basically i am very self conscious. When i try to tell a joke or a story i cant really get beyond 2 sentences when i start chocking and often times they see me struggling so they either help me find the words or end up interrupting me.
Sometimes i have the feeling that I creep people out because I cant maintain a proper conversation, eye contact and from time to time I become completely silent, I just cant find anything to say.
Eventually I just became scared of the whole world and everything in it, that's when I developed Agoraphobia. Agoraphobia made me shutter myself from the world till one day I just had enough. One day you just have to accept that it's all in your head and you can’t control everything around you or even in you. That's right you can't always control what goes on in your body. Hypochondria was a big cause of my panic episodes, but the truth is whether or not you get some terrible disease is out of your hands so what’s the point in worrying about it!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that half of life is just pure chance, so enjoy it. Once I accepted that I can’t control everything not only was that the beginning of the end of my panic and agoraphobia, but it was the first step in a journey that would lead me to travel around much of the world..., alone! Ever since overcoming panic and fear, I've loved, enjoyed life more passionately and deeply than anyone who hasn't been through this sort of thing can ever hope to imagine, and you can too.
Hang in there, don't give up, I know some days
can get pretty bad when you're struggling with fear, but a beautiful,
bright future awaits you if you just hang in there.
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